A Few Thoughts on Friendship

Jun 13

C.S. Lewis wrote: “Friendship is the greatest of worldly goods, and the chief happiness of life. C.S. Lewis went so far as to say this when giving a piece of advice to a young man about a place to live: “Sacrifice almost everything to live where you can be near your friends.”

Winnie the Pooh, that deep-thinking animal psychologist agreed when he said, “A day without a friend is like a pot without a single drop of honey left inside."

St. Francis de Sales loved to talk about friendship. Here are some of his remarks: “For friendship is mutual, reciprocal, and if it is not reciprocated, it is not friendship.” That certainly makes sense!

Secondly, St. Francis adds: “…because it is not enough that it be reciprocal; it is also essential that those who love each other recognize their mutual love. If they are not aware of it, it is not friendship!”

Someone once told me this fact which has proven so true and so real in my lifetime: “Some friends are for a reason. Other friends are for a season and still others are for a lifetime.” Categories that soon make their presence felt on our journey.

The thing that separates a friend from others is their investment in you as a person. If they care about you, it means they are honest with you, even when what they have to say hurts.

St. Francis encouraged us not only to have faithful friends but hailed them as precious treasures that nourish us for the task of life itself. He writes: “Those who live in the world need friendships in order to secure and assist one another amid the many dangerous passages through which they have need to pass in this life.”

Friends should always offer constructive feedback. If you're not doing what you need to be doing, a friend who is caring will tell you. He or she does this in a caring and loving voice so that you can hear and understand it even if you don’t like what you’re hearing!

But sometimes it can be hard to tell when you've crossed the line from “acquaintance” to “friend.” Learn to recognize who's a friend in your life by searching for some key elements.

Look for these qualities: loyal and dependable, spending time with you, wanting to hang out with you, and showing that they care about you. Sometimes, people act as if they are your friend, but don't always show it. This attitude can make you feel left out and not want to bring other people closer to you.

A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter the one who has found one has found a treasure. There is nothing so precious as a faithful friend and no one can measure his or her goodness and worth. (Sirah 6:14)

I leave you with these words from St. Francis: “It’s consoling to know that the friendships begun on this earth will continue in heaven.”