Hand Holding

Jan 28

The Oblates around Toledo gathered together and celebrated the Feast of St. Francis de Sales on January 19th. The highlight of the gathering was a reflection given by Jenn Okuley. Jenn is the Coordinator for Religious Education and Spiritual Life at Our Lady of Lourdes Parish in Toledo, OH. As a graduate and former graduate assistant at DeSales University, Jenn has a long history with the Oblates and Salesian Spirituality. I asked her to give a reflection on the impact of St. Francis de Sales on her life as a sister, wife, and mother.

For her reflection, she focused on the image St. Francis paints in Part III, Chapter 10 of the Introduction to the Devout Life. This is the image of a child gathering berries with one hand while holding the hand of her father, “So too if you gather and handle the goods of this world with one hand, you must always hold fast with the other to your heavenly Father’s hand.” This is a wonderful image that I’ve seen many times in the past. However, Jenn gave a new insight to me through the eyes of a mother.

In her reflection, Jenn described the difference between scooping up her daughter to carry her and walking with her by the hand. When she scoops up her daughter, she is able to move quickly and rush to the next thing. But now that her daughter wants to walk everywhere, Jenn takes her by the hand and slows to her speed. Jenn has to slow down in order to walk hand in hand with her daughter. Does this mean that our Father slows down for us? Since hearing her reflection, I’ve been meditating on a God who slows down for me. What does that mean?

I’ve been keeping track of the phrases I hear in my mind that are challenged by this image of God slowing down. They break into two categories. The first category is around frustration with other people. The phrases sound like this:

It is so clear! Why don’t they see it?
Why don’t they get it?
How many times do we have to do this?
Again!?

These frustrations with others are passing, but the second category is much more challenging. These phrases are about me when I don’t get something quickly or can’t see things clearly. These linger.

Well Joe, you just wasted everyone’s time again.
You’re not getting anywhere Joe.
Joe, what have you been doing?
What’s your point, Joe?

A God who slows down for us, “Above all things, take heed that you never leave his hand and his protection, thinking that thus you can gather more or gain some advantage. If he should forsake you, you will not be able to go a step further.” We can take steps though small. We can move though slowly. Just keep looking back at a Father who takes hold and will not let go.

“Thus God will work with you, in you, and for you, and after your labor consolation will follow.”