Hardened Heart?

Mar 26

“If today you hear his voice, harden not your heart.” This was the Gospel acclamation from the Psalms on Ash Wednesday. I took it as my prayer throughout Lent. Since we just celebrated the Third Sunday of Lent, I think I should do a check-in with you.

I met with my spiritual director before Lent. To be honest, I told her about some growing anger and frustration in my heart. I explained the circumstances for my anger to justify it and defend it. After speaking for some time, I exclaimed, “What is this?” My spiritual director looked at me and said, “Oh Joe… Have you ever heard of pride?”

She was right, it was pride. I actually laughed when she said it. I laughed because her insight was a gift, and it was on point. I have not always received insights in this fashion. Maybe you can relate. I often take my imperfections and make them my identity. I get spiritually trapped by shame.

Let me detail the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt identifies an action or decision that is off target. For example, I lied yesterday. Guilt is different from shame. Shame makes the fault our identity – I am a liar. Do you see the difference? I cheated (guilt). I am a cheater (shame). I acted impatiently (guilt). I am impatient (shame). I am reacting pridefully (guilt). I am prideful (shame).

St. Francis warns against the shame trap. This happens when we recognize our imperfections and overly identify with them, and immediately believe we are wretched and worthless. In The Introduction to the Devout Life, Part III, Chapter 9, DeSales writes about meekness toward ourselves, “Although reason requires that we must be displeased and sorry whenever we commit a fault, we must refrain from bitter, gloomy, spiteful, and emotional mispleasure. Many people are greatly at fault in this way.” St. Francis identifies the source of a bitter and angry reaction against ourselves not as repentance or sorrow but as pride and self-love. The source of the shame trap is actually pride. If you have a copy of the Introduction, I recommend reading all of chapter nine, it's short and so good!

It was a moment of grace when my spiritual director identified pride as the source of my anger. This insight was a gift because now I can see it! As I see it during my Lenten journey, I follow St. Francis’ advice, “Lift up your heart again whenever it falls, but do so meekly by humbling yourself before God.”

“If today you hear his voice, harden not your hearts.”

May God be Praised!