Welcome, Welcome, Welcome

Oct 29

How often do we make good resolutions in prayer not to become upset about future situations…then we quickly forget all about those resolutions when the time comes!

Maybe you were already three sentences into an argument before you even realized you were angry or defensive? Or you felt a lump in your throat, but didn’t understand why you felt so hurt? This is part of the growing pains in the spiritual life, it seems to me. Our upsets in life “trap” us before we can recall our good resolutions not to give in.

The question of what to do with upsetting emotions is a major part of allowing our spiritual life to permeate the rest of our lives. Day-to-day life brings with it its own roller coaster of highs and lows. Every minor upset, regardless of how trivial it seems, gives us a window into our true value system, whether we like it or not. This is the insight given by Fr. Thomas Keating, founder of Contemplative Outreach. One of his associates, Mary Mrozowski, took this insight, together with wisdom from the spiritual classic, Abandonment to Divine Providence, and developed a prayer practice that has been a major help in my spiritual life in recent years. It is called the Welcoming Prayer.

As with most profound insights, it is simple to understand but will take a lifetime to master. This prayer has three basic steps to it: (1) Focus and Sink In, (2) Welcome, and (3) Let Go. Taken together, these simple steps chart a course through not away from our troubled states towards an awareness of abiding peace that resides much deeper than our emotions.

1. Focus and Sink In: The key to catching yourself before you go over the waterfall of upset is bringing your attention to how your body is responding when the storm clouds of upstate emotions are forming. If a callous remark makes you feel a sense of tightness in your chest or clench your fists, bring your full attention to the sensation, rather than letting your mind wander towards analyzing the upset. As Christians, we know how tightly our bodies and souls are joined together. What’s going on in our spirit is bound to resonate with the rest of us!

2. Welcome: Once you have become aware of how your body is reacting to the situation, the key to this process is the gentle inward gesture of welcoming the feeling. This is the subtle genius of the practice. Our instinct is to push away unpleasant feelings. Instead, by accepting the present moment in all its messiness, you have taken away its power to profoundly disturb you. It is very important to clarify here that what we are accepting is the emotion, not the situation. The goal is not to roll over and submit to every insult or remain passive in the sight of injustice, but only after welcoming and accepting reality as it is can we be effective in addressing it. Sometimes we are called to improve or correct a situation, but only after we have embraced it. Welcoming enables us to echo the words of the spiritual writer Gerald May: “This moment can be endured.”

3. Let Go: It is important not to jump to this last step too quickly. Only after we have fully welcomed the present moment can we let go of it by giving it confidently to God.

Often I find that naming the feeling is very helpful: “God, I give you my anxiety” or “Lord, I give you my sadness.”

As a whole, this prayer is a powerful tool for humility. We learn more about ourselves and the attachments we still have. But most importantly, it is a prayer of profound trust in God. At the bottom of every situation is the presence of God. The Welcoming Prayer, along with any other tool we can use to remind ourselves of His presence, even in the most troubling moments, is a tremendous gift to us on the journey. Let us pray for the freedom of spirit to say to each moment: “Welcome…welcome…welcome.”

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Here is a text of the welcoming prayer that may be helpful when first putting it into practice:

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

I welcome everything that comes to me today because I know it's for my healing. I welcome all thoughts, feelings, emotions, persons, situations, and conditions. I let go of my desire for power and control.

I let go of my desire for affection, esteem, approval, and pleasure.

I let go of my desire for survival and security.

I let go of my desire to change the situation.

I am open to the love and presence of God and God's action within. Amen.